The peace that comes with being yourself.

Recently I feel like I’ve lost myself on the way here,

Though I know where I left my inner self,

I don’t know why or how I stopped me from being me.

Most of my self motivation comes from me liking who I am,

I like myself for always wanting to do things right, by me and others.

For caring and loving deep,

For always believing I can do better, failure or success.

I liked myself because I was always myself.

Taking a step back, I realised that people’s fear and doubts influenced and somehow sneaked in.

Reading that quote, it reminded of the peacefulness and content, being yourself gives you.

Love and enhance your true being, don’t let it get lost in the way.

– Vanathi Thooran

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Does it make sense to you?

what will you do when a comet hits our home planet and what we know as life, love and knowledge cease to exist?

Is what you are doing right now, this moment, make sense?

What will you do when that comet,destroys just your town?

…

How would you look at the world, if that comet destroys just your home, with everything you worked, earned, bought, saved went with it?

Is what your doing right now makes sense to you?

How does it make sense to you?

…

Now,

What will you do if another species plant, far away but similar to ours, gets destroyed by a comet?

what will you do if a comet destroys another town, half way across our globe?

What will you do when a comet destroys a house near yours and everything stays intact, but that house?

Does what your doing right now makes sense?

How would you look at the world, when you see someone else’s work,earning, things bought and saved, is destroyed?

How would you feel about it?

Would what your doing right now still makes sense to you?

…

So tell me, how does anything make you feel?

 

What did the cockroach Say? Wake Up!

So, I’ve been trying to wake up yearly, well, forever now. And everyday I wakeup earlier than the alarm and turn it off. why?, ’cause I’d be tired going to bed late and waking up early, so I woke up earlier to not wake up early. *phew*

And with everyday conviction to wake up at 6:30am, I went to bed late, as always.

I think the universe got fed up with me convincing myself everyday to wakeup and not hold up my promise everyday.

As usual *eye roll* I wakeup an hour before the alarm, I turn it off and got to bed.

Suddenly I heard a ruffling sound coming from the area near the mirror.

First instinct, let me tell you, I got scared, I was like ‘Is it a ghost?’ ‘Am I going to be in a real life horror film? ’cause there is no way anything can make that sound other than whatever I didn’t know yet.

I got up, took my phone and shined its light. Nothing I couldn’t see anything. I thought maybe it can from outside. I was still sleepy and again got to bed.

Again I heard the same thing, papers ruffing. This time I was more awake, I can definitely tell it was coming from the space before the mirror. I got up abruptly and switched on the torch in my phone.

I think I was calm before, even though I my mind was playing so many images. But when I saw what I saw, I was jumped.

I was frigging cockroach! A huge cockroach! I freaked out.

After getting it out. I was wide awake. I looked at the clock it was 5:17am. And decided not to go back to sleep. After so many tries. I woke up early. Earlier than I wanted to.

I read my book ‘Onward’ for an hour after that.

But again I felt sleepy and went back to sleep. < I can feel the eye rolling>

Though anti-climatic, I did wake up early and did what I wanted to after waking up early.

Firsts adds up and lasts. Thats what I hoping for.

Like that, smile everyday, It adds up.

 

 

 

 

Recommend day!: Skin Shine bright!

What I learned from the past the 2 years is that – for you to have clear and glowing skin, you don’t need fancy products or a load of products spilling near your sink or expensive visits to dermatologists.

Skin speaks out what your gut can’t, in order to understand the message its trying to communicate, we must really listen to it. As time progresses, we will learn and understand its language.

On this first post on the ‘Recommend day’ (which will be on every Friday) ,

I want to introduce you to a Youtuber and her channel who has in-depth knowledge and a deep interest in skin care.

From recovering your skin’s barrier, learning about your acne to introducing you to the basic chemical names in skin products.

It might help you understand your skin better and help you choose better.

                                               Link to her Channel:  Liah Yoo

Towards having a better skin! – Lets learn and treat with knowledge!

About my past weeks..

What happened in these last 2 weeks-

• I’ve been trying really hard to finish reading a book I started a year ago.-Let me give you some context –

I started ‘Onward’ by Howard shultz after a month of doing an assignment on starbucks for my class. I really loved it and read as through quickly as I was reading a fantasy-fiction novel.  Somehow I got distracted somewhere and forgot the existence of the book. I started another book which ended up having the same fate as this one.

But this year in part of getting my brain, self, time and life together, I came back to the unfinished/to be finished books and things.

Even though I read half of it before, I started the book over again and am past the half way point. But with all the more distractions, this time not self induced but the cause of other time consumers.

– I am determined to finish it this week.-

• I hurt my own toe with my own foot

That is how clumsy I am. I hurt my big toe real bad and the nail turned bluefish grey. and all people could ask me was, how did you hurt your own toe?, where you wear heeled shoe? and then laughed in disbelief.

So, I am walking strange and thankfully after a week of pain and some antibiotics it stopped hurting.

And also its true that you’ll keep attacking the attacked part over and over again.

• Trying to not inhale all the dust from the redoing happening.

We are redoing our bathrooms and we have 3 of them. It taking too long then expected and we are prolonged with workers walking up and down and the noise and the ever ending pile of dust.

• listening to more k pop.

Recommend and current favourite – Starry night by MAMAMOO

Link to ‘Starry night’ , if you want to check it out!

 

#heart talk

Heart Talk- Cleo Wade.

Saw the above on Instagram, I needed to share it here.

It spoke to my heart.

 

 

Afraid? Me?

Hey you lil bird,

Are you afraid?

Do you feel like you are cheating everyone including yourself?

Do you feel cold from all the shivering,

From the fear everyone will find out,

The fraud you are,

The mask of confidence you put on to fool everyone,

The strong scent you put on to hide your weak self,.

Are you afraid it will all come into light?

Are you afraid that they’ll find out,

How afraid you really are?

Living a lie which you desperately want to be true..

In fear everyday, that your luck will catch up?

Cause I am. I am afraid. That is the truth. I can’t hide from myself. I don’t want to hide myself from the world.

So, let me tell you. I am afraid.

A cover – In the dark.

I am figuring out how to sing, sing correctly,

how to use my voice and not strain it, as I have picked up so many bad singing habits.

I’ve never taken time to learn it, I just did it.

A year from this date, I want to and will upload the same cover.

– To Learning!

Here’s the link to a post I wrote when I heard this song and had thoughts about it,

 ” In the dark. “

Interview ‘ON’

I am waiting for an interview to happen for admission into a college.

I am scared sh**less, but am putting on a brave face.

Don’t know what to do. So I am ‘wordpressing’..

*sigh*

P.s – I know this isn’t twitter. But stay with me here.

The mind battle.

Frustration.

so much frustration.

I know what I want, but I don’t know exactly how to push.

Procrastination is getting worse as frustration builds.

It has no reason, at the start or at the end.

But the resistance of self- status quo and self doubt is blocking,

As if they are an armed force with metal shields protecting the status quo,

and  I am the the other force pushing through, trying to break the barrier and win fights.

Winning battles with ourselves are hard. But if we do, we can win all the other battles in life.

But I am so frustrated right now. And procrastination is my biggest enemy.