In the dark.

Who are we in the dark?

Some of us are alone, when surrounded by people, showing a self which is ideal of a “better life than you”

Some of us are too lost to point out who that self is anymore.

Some of us never look into who we are and live life in the matrix.

Some of us are aware of our self high and self low, and trying to deal and work with ourselves.

Some of us are too afraid to even know who we are and distract us from having the conversation with ourselves.

So who are you in the dark?

Inspired by:

Camila Cabello- In the Dark.

Blank stares, faithless
Vampires at the same places
Shadows, traces
I know that you feel me

You’re runnin’, runnin’, runnin’, runnin’

Making the rounds with all your fake friends 

Runnin’, runnin’ away from it

You can strip down without showing skin, yeah

I can see you’re scared of your emotions
I can see you’re hoping, you’re not hopeless
So why can’t you show me?
Why can’t you show me?

I can see you’re looking for distractions\

I can see you’re tired of the acting

So why can’t you show me?

Who are you in the dark?

Show me the scary parts

Who are you when it’s 3 AM and you’re all alone
And L.A. doesn’t feel like home?

Who are you in the dark?

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The Story of the forgotten Shampoo

Had an upcoming function/event to dress up.

Right time to upgrade my shampoo.

Bought shampoo online.

Delivered to home.

Tried and liked shampoo.

Traveled for a day to the place of event happening.

Forgot to bring Shampoo.

Story of my life.

(Why, brain. Why?!?!??)

Welcome.

Happy New Year everyone!

It’s the day when the earth starts for another journey around, It’s the day when people in it want to start a new.

A reason, a push, a reminder to start a better life, to live better than yesterday.

When we are eager to start fresh, let us remember to reflect on the questioning days and the livening days, and understand ourselves and others a little more.

So once again, Happy new year.

Welcome to 2018.😊

Rambling to Care.

Yesterday, A K-pop star took his own life.

People all over the world suffer from unattended mental health problems. It affects the best of us, the people around us and people across half way from you, where awareness and skepticism on this matter varies.

I just feel that we as humans just live our lives with specific focus or just live mundanely with thorough thoughtlessness.

I just don’t see many people genuinely caring about fellow beings or even things. Even the so called culturally structured society which once was a community, now stands with just the structured skeletons and lost its human nature.

Even the students who are supposedly just entering ‘life’, end it. Even though we have heard countless news everyday, why can’t we understand? why do we not Care?

What I am trying to say is …

Those few of us who remember to care.. know to truly care.. shouldn’t loose hope.

I know we can be better. Teach better. Love better. Care better.

 

So why should it be hard to be Human?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brain/ Reply fast/fart

When you turn stupid when you reply to someone….

Its like my brain races to file through all the possible words and comes with the stupidest sounding answers and I keep beating myself over and over and over again… replaying that moment and conversation in my head over and over again.

*internal scream* #why. #why.

When you say thank you too much than necessary, Moments when you could’ve answered better, all the comeback you could’ve been proud of, Also when you answer literally to a question meant for another whole dimension…

Example:

Person: so, what are you doing?

Me: *isn’t it obvious* Oh! I am just sitting here..

*Both looks confused* some conversation happens..

After person leaves.. I realise what they actually meant.

*contemplates if I am real* *The internal cringing starts*

And then reliving all the brain fart moments again and cringing more.

Am I the only one who acts, as if my speech buttons are controlled by a 3 year old..?

Ah…All the missed opportunities and mixed impressions..

 

Always Love.

– Vanathi

 

Inspirational Corners!

                                         REPOST from June 2015

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I was feeling bit down, so I made this little inspiration corner/wall.

And thought I would share it with you guys.

If you want, I will post the Quote pictures. Let me know in the comment section.

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                                            REPOST from June 2015

                  (Ah… those times)

Hard yet necessary.

Why is it difficult to do the things you want to do?

Simple things from, not eating that sugary treat to studying for an important exam.

Procrastination has eaten up most part of my life. And I don’t want it take up any more than it already has.

You know what to do but you can’t get yourself to do it.

It has many names- Laziness, procrastination, I just don’t want to do it…but you know you have to.

It just a mind game. A game I’ve been losing at without even realising I am playing it.

I can’t move forward if I don’t face it head on.

So I dove in and I am wrestling. I may be weak now but I will gain strength, with pushing myself out of this loop.

“Just do it”– (the things you want to do)    Also “Don’t go with it”(time wasters)

with these simple words by our side we can continue our growth.

Lets strive for a life we want.  It can be hard but thats not going to stop us.

-Vanathi.

living your life.

When you thought you’ll be productive day and night, but its been 3 months and still haven’t seen that day or night.

 

After finishing college, I have been sucked into the world of youtube videos, which I used to just pay a visit everyday but now am staying with a pretty strong foundation.

Its not the fault of the videos but my procrastination that has kept me from living my life.

Maybe its the overwhelming fear of what would happen, and to see through if I’ll be able to see myself in the dreams I have built.

Let’s dive in then, shall we?

 

-Vantsy105

But still, you love.

you can’t complain.

she’s the one who loved you,

but doesn’t still love you.

 

A lover turned bully,

I think she knows, but does she?

Does she know the hurt and pain she creates,

the fear and doubt, so much doubt she inflicts.

 

she does care, or does she?

painting an image with a centre that does not matter,

adding colours that doesn’t give sense to your life,

but making the art bleed, that can’t even escape.

 

with all that she has done, why do you still love her?

 

with all the resentment and pain,

I still care and i don’t think I’ll ever stop that love,

with the tear behind my eyes, I laugh with her

why I don’t know,

but I want her to be happy and better.

 

No I’ll not change for her sake,

cause her words are pointed and pointless,

But I can’t turn away,

I don’t know why, I’ll always care for her.

 

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever felt this way?

A feeling where you seem to search,

the emotions which seems to not exist,

the feeling like its been long since you’ve ever felt.

 

where is my once ambitious heart,

where is my always unswayed strength ,

where is my empathy that I hold asset to,

when will you be a part of me again?

 

without you everything seems pointless,

the thing that I treasure the most,

when can we be together again?

 

I search for you through movies and stories,

I search for you outside, I struggle to find you within.

 

‘Cause I can only see the world with you,

with the happiness and sorrow,

to work and to love,

to feel all the things a human should,

to be part of the beautiful.

 

when are you going to resurface,

when am I going to be myself ?