But still, you love.

you can’t complain.

she’s the one who loved you,

but doesn’t still love you.


A lover turned bully,

I think she knows, but does she?

Does she know the hurt and pain she creates,

the fear and doubt, so much doubt she inflicts.


she does care, or does she?

painting an image with a centre that does not matter,

adding colours that doesn’t give sense to your life,

but making the art bleed, that can’t even escape.


with all that she has done, why do you still love her?


with all the resentment and pain,

I still care and i don’t think I’ll ever stop that love,

with the tear behind my eyes, I laugh with her

why I don’t know,

but I want her to be happy and better.


No I’ll not change for her sake,

cause her words are pointed and pointless,

But I can’t turn away,

I don’t know why, I’ll always care for her.


Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever felt this way?

A feeling where you seem to search,

the emotions which seems to not exist,

the feeling like its been long since you’ve ever felt.


where is my once ambitious heart,

where is my always unswayed strength ,

where is my empathy that I hold asset to,

when will you be a part of me again?


without you everything seems pointless,

the thing that I treasure the most,

when can we be together again?


I search for you through movies and stories,

I search for you outside, I struggle to find you within.


‘Cause I can only see the world with you,

with the happiness and sorrow,

to work and to love,

to feel all the things a human should,

to be part of the beautiful.


when are you going to resurface,

when am I going to be myself ?


Is it your fault?

I have a hard time understanding why people complain when they are one the reasons that that complain exists. I am talking about the bitter moms and dads, the bitter employees, mostly bitter people.

For example, when you complain about not having clean roads and a clean city, but decide to throw rubbish around like confetti, will the roads be clean?

okay, sometimes we don’t have dustbins around, so we have an excuse.

okay. what about the very very very hot weather(because it s very hot) complaint but don’t have any trees around (cause you didn’t plant any and cut it if one ever existed)


                                  photo © Poras Chaudhary


One of the major complaints is that we don’t use anything we ‘studied’ in school and blame the education, for not being able to be happy?

Yes, schools don’t make its priority to make us understand but quantify the results a test which certainly doesn’t test what actually needs to be tested(if that person understands)

It is like the schools forgot its whole purpose. And can’t forget the many teachers who just come in for the money without knowing sh*t and without any guilt, don’t want to do the job that they are paid for (talking about the privates where I live), while the few good ones make our world a better place(Thank you).

Yes, I am now complaining. But what will I do about it?

I tell the little kids, the ones that are in school to ‘learn’ not for marks but for the sake of learning. That you have the ability to understand if you put your mind into it.

I tell them that loving the planet and the people is important and being hateful doesn’t really do much to anyone.

I tell them that no matter what others say you have a place in this world and that you can make this world a better place.

‘Cause we can’t make the people to change but be the change.

All I am saying is, we complain but we don’t want to be part of the reason for that complaint.

Love? Think Twice.

What ever you think love is

That is not love.


Love is something that makes you care about them

And doesn’t let their feelings go unchecked.


Love is when you feel their pain and try desperate things, even small,

To ease them.


Love is when you hurt them so much in the name of ‘caring’,

But they still ‘love’ you .


Love is when they know they love you and you can feel it too.



But don’t ever, in the name of love, be a monster

Ripping their hearts out from time to time

When they desperately try to keep it together

To patch it back, and pretend their heart is healthy and have always been healthy



Even if you gave that heart,

It is not yours and you will never feel the pricks or slashes.





Wait What?!

Wait what?!, is me questioning myself –

Did I really complete 3 years of UnderGraduate ..?

In just 7 days I am officially not gonna be a teenager anymore?

Am I supposed to know what I am gonna do next ..?

Wait What?!

My heart screams… NOooooo….

Remember when people told you to not fuss over things when you are in school because you get holidays.. summer vacations and all of your other works done for you…

well, I should have listened.

I cannot not worry about the summer vacation less years and feeling lost when I should have some sense on what anything is..

It is really an awkward place to be in …. cause suddenly you don’t have any title to go by and answer the daunting question of what do you do..


confused mind = confused thoughts = not really a post..

Wait What?!



I won’t stand in your line.

This is how it is done,

this is how it is supposed to be done,

you are supposed walk straight, turn left, run up,

then jump to make it to the other side,

that is how you are supposed to live your life.


If not, oh well, we will ridicule you until you stand in the line.


No, Thank you, I can find my own way,

I don’t want to jump but maybe fly out from the top of the mountains.

I don’t want to and I won’t stand in a line which never moves,

I want to make my own line.

I maybe be ridiculed, left out, made fun of,

I am willing to be named stupid,

but I refuse to bow my head and stand in THE queue.


How to make your heart stronger?

Have you ever felt that when you feel pretty good about yourself, there is always that someone who just tells you otherwise?

Cause I am pretty sure about me, even though I am completely lost about what’s next.

That I’ll figure it out.

But some people who are worried or just in general have a general perception, even though they have not worked with you or in fact not even talked to you more than a minute,

when they think they know what you in general can do and what you can’t.

They made me doubt everything.

sometimes its hurtful that the ones close to, doesn’t necessarily believe or even more, mock you so.

It makes you doubt yourself and it made ‘me’ angry, to be honest.

But after all that when you come to a stage where you realise that it is “their” perception and “their” view and takes, we are no longer affected by it.

I don’t have to expect every one to understand what I say.

Maybe it will take time or maybe when I keep doing what I do, they would eventually have ‘faith’ in me.

Its not their fault or mine.

It takes time for you to love what you are and your heart to grow, You don’t want the others to take those new grown pieces away.

You don’t need to grow new pieces back but focus on making your heart stronger, which happens when you don’t let people take those pieces.  It is you who lets them.

Happiness and fulfilment lies within us.


ALlways smile 🙂

The memories that made us.




Remember the better.

To recall and cherish,

The time you couldn’t stop laughing

Couldn’t stop smiling.

When your mind lighted up with happiness and love.


Remember the less than better

To recall and learn,

The time you couldn’t stop hurting

Couldn’t stop feeling lost.

When your mind churned with emotions and confusion.


If you’re turning 16 or 60,

Remember to not forget

the better and less better,


For  all the good and bad makes up our life,

Makes up us.

Changing our attitude and perception,

The thing we call learning and growing up.


At  the start or the end of the day,

That is all we have,

The memories that made us,

The memories to Remember .



ALlways love.