Will ‘ice cream’ power rant.

I ate ice cream and I regret it. *types as she continues coughing continuously*

The thing is I knew I should and use my ‘willpower’ to not eat cold things

But, I choose almost impulsively and instantaneously convinced myself I could handle it, though I being convincing myself to do the former for days.

With wet hair and Air conditioning for 7 hours through out my travel and a week of subtle symptoms of sore throat, I need to had made wise decision, which I did, but I just didn’t listen to own wise advice .

Regret is the word I would use and lesson is another. – listen to yourself.

Having fever with your nose a running fountain or sudden lock down, – nope not taking oxygen at the moment, sorry- is not exactly what I want to not listening to myself.

Why am I writing so much words for very little info… I am ranting on myself, that’s why.

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Stop asking me what my dream is.

Why do people expect you to have a dream set out when you are 12 or 21?

Why do schools want you to “select” a path when you can’t even decide your favourite colour?

Why are you expected to follow that same path ,that was given to you.

Aren’t ‘Adults’ suppose to have lived through it and be experienced?

or Do many of them not know yet?

But Why are they teachers, or the people who are supposed to look after society?

Do they not know better?

or many of them refuse to open their eyes ?

Is it greed or fear?

but why do so many people who are supposedly guiding you, put you in the same box they are trying to not be in?

Do they not know better or is their ego stopping them?

I Made a cake for my own birthday!

Today is my birthday and I baked a cake for myself.

When no one does it for you,

You do it yourself.

 

Also, I didn’t have regular flour so I made it with rice flour and for frosting I ran out of white sugar so I mixed the brown one.

Gotta do what you gotta do.

So you can cut a cake for yourself.

 

P.s This is my second time making a cake, the first time came out like a biscuit.

When words can kill.

Pain,

No I won’t let it turn into

Hate,

No I won’t let it change me

You can’t take my youth away,

My soul of mine will never break,

As long as I wake up today,

You can’t take my youth away.

Youth – Shawn Mendes ft. Khalid

You know how they say words can kill….

People it’s so true,

It puts you down when you are trying to get up, it puts you down you are already up..

there is no way around this…

If you can escape that world or person or environment …. I believe it’s the only way to stand tall, firm on your feet and values and not having to carry, dragging your broken soul around .

And it stings and stings again when it comes from the people you expect love from but given up on them showing you any love, but it still hurt when the words are sharp and can go deeper than ever.

You can’t expect the shield to stay strong and protect you when you are constantly being attacked, though that is all you can do.

Holding on to your heart and the belief that you are something and that your values mean something and to have the knowledge of self and knowing how to grow but be hurt whenever you open your eyes…

Ignorance is bliss they say but insisting not being ignorant but never try to think or listen to the other anything is worse type of living.

Ice cream:1 ; Self: 0

When you tell yourself you’ll stop eating ice creams- cause your trying preserve your throat, your digestive system is a mess and all in all trying to cut down hyper-sugar intakes…

but your family decides and buys 3 flavours of ice creams home..

and when you tell them how they are ruining my resolute..

and they tell me to have self control and not eat it.

We all know Self-Control when it comes to food especially cold, sweet and the one which melts in your mouth with pleasure.. Self-Control loses it  current state of existence and morphs into Self-Desire.

…………..WWHHHYYY…………

*cries internally as eating her favourite flavour *

The peace that comes with being yourself.

Recently I feel like I’ve lost myself on the way here,

Though I know where I left my inner self,

I don’t know why or how I stopped me from being me.

Most of my self motivation comes from me liking who I am,

I like myself for always wanting to do things right, by me and others.

For caring and loving deep,

For always believing I can do better, failure or success.

I liked myself because I was always myself.

Taking a step back, I realised that people’s fear and doubts influenced and somehow sneaked in.

Reading that quote, it reminded of the peacefulness and content, being yourself gives you.

Love and enhance your true being, don’t let it get lost in the way.

– Vanathi Thooran

Does it make sense to you?

what will you do when a comet hits our home planet and what we know as life, love and knowledge cease to exist?

Is what you are doing right now, this moment, make sense?

What will you do when that comet,destroys just your town?

…

How would you look at the world, if that comet destroys just your home, with everything you worked, earned, bought, saved went with it?

Is what your doing right now makes sense to you?

How does it make sense to you?

…

Now,

What will you do if another species plant, far away but similar to ours, gets destroyed by a comet?

what will you do if a comet destroys another town, half way across our globe?

What will you do when a comet destroys a house near yours and everything stays intact, but that house?

Does what your doing right now makes sense?

How would you look at the world, when you see someone else’s work,earning, things bought and saved, is destroyed?

How would you feel about it?

Would what your doing right now still makes sense to you?

…

So tell me, how does anything make you feel?

 

What did the cockroach Say? Wake Up!

So, I’ve been trying to wake up yearly, well, forever now. And everyday I wakeup earlier than the alarm and turn it off. why?, ’cause I’d be tired going to bed late and waking up early, so I woke up earlier to not wake up early. *phew*

And with everyday conviction to wake up at 6:30am, I went to bed late, as always.

I think the universe got fed up with me convincing myself everyday to wakeup and not hold up my promise everyday.

As usual *eye roll* I wakeup an hour before the alarm, I turn it off and got to bed.

Suddenly I heard a ruffling sound coming from the area near the mirror.

First instinct, let me tell you, I got scared, I was like ‘Is it a ghost?’ ‘Am I going to be in a real life horror film? ’cause there is no way anything can make that sound other than whatever I didn’t know yet.

I got up, took my phone and shined its light. Nothing I couldn’t see anything. I thought maybe it can from outside. I was still sleepy and again got to bed.

Again I heard the same thing, papers ruffing. This time I was more awake, I can definitely tell it was coming from the space before the mirror. I got up abruptly and switched on the torch in my phone.

I think I was calm before, even though I my mind was playing so many images. But when I saw what I saw, I was jumped.

I was frigging cockroach! A huge cockroach! I freaked out.

After getting it out. I was wide awake. I looked at the clock it was 5:17am. And decided not to go back to sleep. After so many tries. I woke up early. Earlier than I wanted to.

I read my book ‘Onward’ for an hour after that.

But again I felt sleepy and went back to sleep. < I can feel the eye rolling>

Though anti-climatic, I did wake up early and did what I wanted to after waking up early.

Firsts adds up and lasts. Thats what I hoping for.

Like that, smile everyday, It adds up.

 

 

 

 

Recommend day!: Skin Shine bright!

What I learned from the past the 2 years is that – for you to have clear and glowing skin, you don’t need fancy products or a load of products spilling near your sink or expensive visits to dermatologists.

Skin speaks out what your gut can’t, in order to understand the message its trying to communicate, we must really listen to it. As time progresses, we will learn and understand its language.

On this first post on the ‘Recommend day’ (which will be on every Friday) ,

I want to introduce you to a Youtuber and her channel who has in-depth knowledge and a deep interest in skin care.

From recovering your skin’s barrier, learning about your acne to introducing you to the basic chemical names in skin products.

It might help you understand your skin better and help you choose better.

                                               Link to her Channel:  Liah Yoo

Towards having a better skin! – Lets learn and treat with knowledge!

About my past weeks..

What happened in these last 2 weeks-

• I’ve been trying really hard to finish reading a book I started a year ago.-Let me give you some context –

I started ‘Onward’ by Howard shultz after a month of doing an assignment on starbucks for my class. I really loved it and read as through quickly as I was reading a fantasy-fiction novel.  Somehow I got distracted somewhere and forgot the existence of the book. I started another book which ended up having the same fate as this one.

But this year in part of getting my brain, self, time and life together, I came back to the unfinished/to be finished books and things.

Even though I read half of it before, I started the book over again and am past the half way point. But with all the more distractions, this time not self induced but the cause of other time consumers.

– I am determined to finish it this week.-

• I hurt my own toe with my own foot

That is how clumsy I am. I hurt my big toe real bad and the nail turned bluefish grey. and all people could ask me was, how did you hurt your own toe?, where you wear heeled shoe? and then laughed in disbelief.

So, I am walking strange and thankfully after a week of pain and some antibiotics it stopped hurting.

And also its true that you’ll keep attacking the attacked part over and over again.

• Trying to not inhale all the dust from the redoing happening.

We are redoing our bathrooms and we have 3 of them. It taking too long then expected and we are prolonged with workers walking up and down and the noise and the ever ending pile of dust.

• listening to more k pop.

Recommend and current favourite – Starry night by MAMAMOO

Link to ‘Starry night’ , if you want to check it out!